Adoptive Moms, Birth Moms, Moms moms...

For some reason the hardest time to see Emilia is with my mom. My latest theory is that when it's just me visiting I can sort of pretend that a) I am old enough to have had a kid so it's not as weird; b) I get her all to myself; or c) it's easier to see her as her adoptive mom's kid instead of my mom's biological granddaughter. When it really hits me that the decision I  made effects my entire family (on top of her birth-father's family) it multiplies the grief tenfold. I'm the type of person who feels the emotions of the people around her so all of that weighing down on me . The only thing that makes it all bearable is that Emilia's adoptive mom is like me and feels everyone's emotions so she noticed almost immediately when I was upset that day, asked if I was okay, and made sure I had some time with Emi. What would I ever do without her?