Stretch Marks

Women who have been pregnant, aside from those lucky ducks, can tell you how frustrating stretch marks can be. For me, they can be a daily reminder of the grief included in placing a child. In my darker hours I get frustrated being left with this 'broken body' and no baby. M&M's birth-daddy is always one to bring me out of my self pity by emphasizing the beauty brought into the world as a result of  the female form, so divinely designed to create life. 

"Oh yeah, I created a life today. What did you do?"

I love my daughter more than anything and she is worth infinitely more than 9 months of whale-in-a-skirt impersonations or my bikini body possibly forever. The fact that I get to see her, happy, with her loving, supportive family once a week (twice this week!) is the greatest blessing I could ever have asked for. Sometimes I am sick of being a mature adult who made a mistake but then did all the mature responsible things from there out(ish). Sometimes I want to just be a regular 18 year old who cares about the way she looks and can afford a little occasional recklessness. But only sometimes...